


Groceries Assemble

by tarialdarion



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Domestic!Avengers, Gen, Pre-Slash, like so pre-slash we are at awkward flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 00:59:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5437568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tarialdarion/pseuds/tarialdarion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avengers + grocery shopping + puppies. Because why not?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Groceries Assemble

“I don’t see why this is necessary.” Tony grumbled, “I could just hire someone to cater. Or we could make Bruce cook again.” Steve leveled him with a Look.

“We make Bruce cook all the time and for Christmas, we should all pitch in! Grocery shopping is the least difficult part of the meal and then we all get to have input in to what is made.” Tony harrumphed and pushed his sunglasses up from where they had slipped down his nose. “Besides,” Steve added as they walked into their local market, “we all agreed that the holidays would be a bonding time for us.”

“No, you decided and used your patriotic jawline to brainwash everyone else into agreeing with you.”

Bruce pulled out a cart a little forcefully and spoke loudly to be heard over the rest of Tony’s complaining, “Who has the lists?”

Natasha held up a few slim sheets of paper and began delegating them out. “The lists have been divided by aisles so no one group should be wasting time by walking all over the store. I have placed us in 3 groups of 2. We’ll meet back here at the check-outs once we’re done. Tony, do not buy the most expensive brand of everything just to prove a point (‘What if it’s a very important point?’). Clint, no making puns out of every type of vegetable and then tweeting about it (‘People love my humor, Natasha. It’s a proven fact.’). Disperse.”

Clint and Natasha walked down the aisles with Natasha very purposefully finding the items and putting them in the cart while Clint livetweeted the whole experience. “Hey, Nat. Do you think #groceriesassemble or #domesticavengers is a better summary of this experience?”

Thor and Bruce had a slightly more difficult time with Bruce answering Thor’s questions about a typical Midgardian Christmas feast every 20 seconds. “Ah so turkey is the Thanksgiving meat! What is the meat designated for Christmas?” Bruce stared thoughtfully at the chicken breasts and tried to come up with an answer.

“I don’t think there is one, Thor.”

“Nonsense!” was his response. “Every holiday must have its own traditional meat. Why in Asgard…” Bruce continued to stare at the chicken while Thor recalled the specifics of customary Asgardian feasts to his friend.

Steve and Tony were bickering lightheartedly over the pasta choices. “Com’on Steve, just get the bowties! They’re delicious, saucy, and everybody loves them. Remind you of anyone you know?” Tony added with a wink. Steve rolled his eyes and dropped the bowties in the cart.

“I only chose them so I don’t have to respond to that ridiculous comment, Tony.”

“I’ll take it. What’s next on the List of Unnecessary Groceries?”

“You know, you could at least try to –“ Steve’s admonishment was cut off by a sudden crash two aisles over. They shared a look and dashed over to see what had caused the noise, certain that it was one of their teammates.

Sure enough, Bruce was in the middle of an aisle picking up boxes from where the pastry cart had tipped over. Thor was bent down talking to a little girl and her mom at one end of the aisle. Steve bent down to help them and then reached up to pull Tony down with an “Ooomph” alongside him. Natasha and Clint rounded the corner and Clint stopped to snap a picture, muttering something about avenging pastries.

“What happened here?” Natasha asked, hands on her hips.

“That girl asked Thor about one of our most recent battles. He didn’t see the pastry cart.” Bruce said, sitting up on his heels and nodding towards the trio at the other end.

Natasha sighed as Bruce, Steve, and Tony finished cleaning up and stood up beside her. “It isn’t an Avengers outing without something falling down. Well, at least we are almost finished.” She looked at the other two groups. “We are almost through, correct?” Bruce looked hesitant. “Spit it out, Banner.”

“We might have gotten distracted by the meats.” Bruce admitted. Tony snorted and Natasha turned on him.

“I assume by your derision that you and Steve have completed your list?”

“Hey, Steve and I are almost done!”

“Mmm so where’s your cart?” Tony stilled and side-eyed Steve. They both quickly turned and ran back to where they had left the cart.

“Of course it’s gone. Because why wouldn’t it be.” Tony groaned. Steve placed a placating hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, we can just get everything on the list again. We know where it all is now and we don’t even have to have the pasta argument.”

“You’re damn right we don’t, Rogers.” Tony poked a finger at Steve’s side. “I just know that somehow this is all Clint’s fault.”

Meanwhile, Natasha had switched her list with Thor and Bruce’s, telling them to finish getting the last few items while she dragged Clint along to furiously acquire the ones still left on their list. Thor and Bruce wandered for a little while, grabbing a few things, until Thor remembered that they needed fish food for the aquarium.

30 minutes later, Natasha looked up from her list to find herself alone with a partially full cart and no more groceries to obtain. After unsuccessfully trying to reach her teammates, she went looking for them and found all 5 sitting in a pen in the pet aisles, surrounded by puppies. Natasha put her hands on her hips for the third time in two hours and cleared her throat. All of them looked up guiltily.

“Heeeey Nat. Come to join the puppy pile?” Clint asked, wiggling a yipping puppy in her direction. She cocked an eyebrow.

“How did all of you end up here?”

“This is not my fault.” Tony said, words muffled by spotted puppy whose fur he was faceplanted into.

Steve looked up from where he was petting a sleeping brown pile of fur. “For once (‘Rude!’), Tony’s right. They’re hosting an adoption day here for the local animal shelter. The kittens are on the aisle next to us.”

“I am enjoying these puppies mightily! They have warrior spirits and great amounts of curiosity.” Thor laughed uproariously as his puppy licked his face. Natasha’s mouth quirked as she smoothly sat on the floor and let a small black puppy come rest its head on her knee.

“I’m assuming all of us are ready to check out then?” Her voice broke through the Puppy Spell after a little while. All five Avengers froze and slowly put down their puppies, making excuses as to why their carts were nowhere to be seen. Natasha sighed and held up a hand.

“Steve and Tony?”

“In our defense, we retrieved the items but our cart was stolen.” Steve said, shrugging.

“I like to think some crazy villain shops here and took it in an act of passive aggression.” Tony smirked.

“I like to remind myself Tony is a genius and not a five-year-old.” Steve snarked, mimicking Tony’s smirk. Tony gasped in mock offense.

“Now, that’s just hurtful, Steve. You hurt me in my tender emotions place.” Steve rolled his eyes as Natasha moved on with her questioning.

“Thor and Bruce?” Bruce held up a puppy in answer.

“Clint?”

“Read my twitter - I livetweeted the whole thing. Even got a video of Cap snuggling a puppy. I’m pretty sure #groceriesassemble is trending somewhere.” Tony nonchalantly pulled out his phone and started scrolling through it. Natasha sighed again.

“No, Natasha’s right. We have been here for” Steve checked his phone “3 hours and have gotten practically nothing. We seem to be incapable of remembering that we actually need these groceries in order to be able to eat on Christmas and – Tony, stop watching the video of me with Titan and pay attention.” Tony’s head snapped up and his cheeks were dusted with pink as he slid his phone back into his pocket quickly.

“Okay, I’ll be the one to say it. Titan?” Clint asked.

“The puppy.” Steve pointed at a little tuft of golden fur that looked like it was about to fall over. Tony groaned.

“He’s going to be coming home with us too, isn’t he?” Steve just looked at him and Tony groaned again.

“At this point he’s the only thing going home with us as we still have no groceries.” Bruce pointed out.

Clint dug into Natasha’s cart and held up a box of fruit loops. “All in favor of just eating these on Christmas?”

“Aye” was the agreement as the Avengers headed towards the checkout line with many boxes of fruit loops, some fish food, and a puppy named Titan.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](http://tari-aldarion.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
